Grateful Thomas

I like Thomas the train, but I am not a fan of the Grateful Dead.

Thomas And Friends is a neat kids show, where a storyteller tells a tale about things happening on the island of Sodor.

The Grateful Dead was/is a lousy country band, with a huge fan base that is drenched in patchouli oil.

The other night I had a vivid dream about Thomas the tank engine.  One thing leads to another, Thomas took the wrong way out of his problems, he turned to drugs and alchohol, then ended up in rehab with Lohan.

Even though I can't stand the Grateful Dead, I know the tunes from being around a college town for a long period of time in my life.  You can't hide from that crowd when you work at a record store, you can only hope to turn them on to some quality music, so that they won't waste hours of their lives on one strung out, jammed up, live version of Casey Jones.

So, in my continuing effort to take yet another step away from winning the parent of the year award, I was making breakfast for the kiddos the other morning and I must have been thinking of my dream about poor, cracked out Thomas the tank engine and had to be subconsciously singing my own version of the song Casey Jones.

Thomas the train, high on cocaine

Lohan, you'd better give your friend a hand.

As we are driving to drop Doodlebug off to school, out of nowhere she starts singing the first line of my new tune. 

I can't recall if I flew through the windshield or not, when my foot hit the brake in horror. 

I'm an idiot and I have to pay attention full time to what I'm doing here.  We listen to lots of music in this house daily and I can't have our daughter, who's like a parrot, repeating that lousy country music.

I guess it also wouldn't help if we were spreading horrible rumors about our favorite train.

Comments

[Sis in Law]

Didn't know you were such a Dead hater...don't you know you are married to a former Deadhead????

[The Queen Bee]

you're stinkin' hilarious.

[Dan Boles]

Hilarious! Drew and I were watching football tonight before I put him to bed... and a Viagra commercial comes on. Not amused, I pondered whether or not I should mute, or better yet just turn off the tube. Well, being the super dad I am, I did nothing. Then, there's this disclaimer about checking with your doctor and something about sex... I closed my eyes, and thought - "Oh God, please..." and then he blurts out with "SEX!" Out of the 30+ words in that disclaimer, he repeats SEX. Why? How do they pick out the ONE word you don't want them to say/repeat?